List your traumas, lick your elbow, let the fucker in you get erected and jump into desert without a water bottle.
Sounds tough? Or May be sounds aimless.
At any level of your childishness you are considered as dead but even at smallest point of your adulthood, you are living. This has nothing to do with your age and absolutely irrelevant to your academic education. I am living a life full of illusionary targets where I actually have nothing to do and no one to bother. It's just matter of time for me to both realise and die. It's your favourite time pass to care about my existence and also yours.
This what you are to me Mr/Ms/Mrs.Nobody
I don't have a life, so doesn't you. I don't care about me, but you do. I wanted to say fuck off, but you said please. I walked down the road, you passed through me.
I took my own directions and now you are afraid to follow me. I entered a movie theatre, you were sitting beside me. I am a smoker, you are a passive smoker.
I wrote a story and you became A character in it. You are still a NOBODY to me, I just fucking used YOU.
About Me
- J a i
- "Liberator who destroyed my properties realigned my perceptions." - Tyler
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Can't be captured, Can only be written
Place: Balcony
Time: No watch
Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall, smoking Navy cut, feeling cold and incomplete, faking to myself that I am sad, I lifted my head and started staring at the view which is COLDBLOODED [sorry if you were expecting it to be beautiful or awesome]. I rushed back to my room to get camera, but came back with book and pencil after some artistic intervention.
"Everything cannot be captured, but can be written."
View resembled a violent evening, Haven't seen sun all day and the day is about to end. Looks like Sun is in battle with clouds, and clouds are kicking shit out of sun and finally some blood, and the result is this view with shades of Sun's blood and drizzling making it more blur giving a color of "Orange juice mixed with 90ml of Vodka."
Zooming out from the color, leafless winter trees appear as if painting is done by some 2nd class kid on pale Orange background. Zooming out further I see a big flat stone which is as big as a bed room with height not more than a feet covered with empty Beer, whiskey, vodka bottles.
Zooming out further I see the burning paper helping tobacco in it to burn, and then I take my last puff.
By the time I reached this ending on paper, drizzling became big and washed away the pale orange colored blood of earth.
Good Evening DARKNESS.
Time: No watch
Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall, smoking Navy cut, feeling cold and incomplete, faking to myself that I am sad, I lifted my head and started staring at the view which is COLDBLOODED [sorry if you were expecting it to be beautiful or awesome]. I rushed back to my room to get camera, but came back with book and pencil after some artistic intervention.
"Everything cannot be captured, but can be written."
View resembled a violent evening, Haven't seen sun all day and the day is about to end. Looks like Sun is in battle with clouds, and clouds are kicking shit out of sun and finally some blood, and the result is this view with shades of Sun's blood and drizzling making it more blur giving a color of "Orange juice mixed with 90ml of Vodka."
Zooming out from the color, leafless winter trees appear as if painting is done by some 2nd class kid on pale Orange background. Zooming out further I see a big flat stone which is as big as a bed room with height not more than a feet covered with empty Beer, whiskey, vodka bottles.
Zooming out further I see the burning paper helping tobacco in it to burn, and then I take my last puff.
By the time I reached this ending on paper, drizzling became big and washed away the pale orange colored blood of earth.
Good Evening DARKNESS.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Now Showing What I saw..!
Light is visible only in darkness. In one such dark places a beam of colourful light rays defined my life. It was ‘cinema’ which endued an attitude to my life. The feeling you experience when you really learn something is unique and it’s something you can never forget.
Many aspects influenced my life and lifestyle but Cinema structured me, made me think, made me understand, and taught me how to learn, how to teach and how to preach..! That is how I began my journey in my teenage in ‘Pursuit of Knowledge & Experience’ because I believe, it is the greatest ambition a person can ever have, thus whatever I do in my life like B tech, Rural development, Law, Film making are pillars that builds ME.
I say one should research, about oneself and world. I always wanted to know about me and what is out there. Now, I am here still in that pursuit, because this is what I want. I don’t have target to achieve and so I never wanted to end this pursuit.
I like this process, I like this journey and so I do have milestones and I am in process to create one. This post is one of them and its my lens, look through my lens.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Old Wine
After all the myths about wine which later confirmed as facts, declared that Wine gets better and better as it gets older and older. Purchase Keep this tasty beverage[wine] in cup board for an year or more and get back to it to taste it. You will be flooded with enrichment in it. I tasted that affluence yesterday, I tasted that good old wine without actually drinking the literal wine.
ﮌ ą ﭑ
The Old wine I was referring was "Sandeep" aka Sandy aka Mr.Asshole-acquainted-intriguing-information-about-Hollywood. The last alias suits him perfectly. That essence was not a surprise to me, but as I was saying "Wine got better."
We meet people, we live with some, we enjoying being with some, we even try to escape from some, But this guy is among few with whom I would try to find a reason or topic for conversation to dwell on with. In a word "Irresistible."
The place I met him, items we had were no different from past nor new to me..! Its just that "Beer is best served Chilled". After all Lemon tea, fag n Movies & on top of it Steven Soderbergh. It was like dream come true.
I already felt the waves of addiction towards the new character he introduced to me.
The "Hitchcock".
ﮌ ą ﭑ
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Invention Vs Discovery
"I wrote a book "1000 chicken recipes", readers loved the taste of recipes, Now who is groovy..? Me or recipes..?"
- An Anonymous in me.
I am not in a place I wished to be, in fact no one can ever be in a place they desire. They will only be destined, via Circumstances and series of Situations (C&S) they face. But one always have a choice to select those circumstances and situation he/she like to be in. Ironically, the prudence essential to make choices was also acquired from previous C&S.
Fending loosing track from main topic that is Who is groovy..? Invention or discovery..??. Initially I was totally fascinated by Inventions alone. In fact I felt Discovery doesn't need any perseverance or an effort.
But you know "we acquire wisdom about something only when you ignore it, and its reverse in case of Knowledge"
The wisdom of that kind recently started in me and now itsasking questions about Discovery and Inventions, in response my conscience replied
" Quality of the subject, depends on person who teaches you and how..!!"
Yeah..!! any theory or knowledge can always be illustrated in a better way than its existing best way. So invention is just a start despite it's vitality, it is just an inception. For its further excellence someone has to propagate it, present its attributes, publish its phenomenons, Personify its essence. Which takes place in a very thin medium between invention and you being able to discover that invention, and I name that medium as a NEEDLE, Which is thin but sharp, above all its essential to combine the threads called
invention & discovery.
In course of retrospection I discovered that i was pierced by quite a few number of needles in my life.
1. Dad :
That's how I call him, It was year 2000 in which 199 min movie created deep cerebral impact on me, I was just 6th class, a respectably average student with notably cute appearance and who listens to his parents
(nothing wrong in it).
Speaking about my Dad, he educated and still educating me in fields with blatant diversity, in that style on a summer night of 2000 he took the family to a movie. I was obliged to realize the fact that a night, out of 25000 nights(hopefully you would live) could create an impact on the rest of all nights you spend in your life. My Dad created that night for me and I would say "my Dad is a genius", provided a modest way to say about him
[Detailed explanation in coming post : I am just a sperm of my father]
After all this, I know what you are waiting for..!
Yah the Movie's name right.??
Its "Hey Ram", written, & Directed by kamal Haasan who also played the role of archeologist who eventually gets influenced by various forces, and tries to kill Gandhi.
To experience the extra ordinary take on most controversial historic incident.. watch the movie...!
Of course I totally admire Kamal and his sheer brilliance, but who gave me that oppurtunity.? Its my Dad who not only created an situation of 'me watching that me' but also discussed about it radiating his deep insights and amazing interpretations of facts.
[ More needles coming soon ....]
- An Anonymous in me.
I am not in a place I wished to be, in fact no one can ever be in a place they desire. They will only be destined, via Circumstances and series of Situations (C&S) they face. But one always have a choice to select those circumstances and situation he/she like to be in. Ironically, the prudence essential to make choices was also acquired from previous C&S.
Fending loosing track from main topic that is Who is groovy..? Invention or discovery..??. Initially I was totally fascinated by Inventions alone. In fact I felt Discovery doesn't need any perseverance or an effort.
But you know "we acquire wisdom about something only when you ignore it, and its reverse in case of Knowledge"
The wisdom of that kind recently started in me and now itsasking questions about Discovery and Inventions, in response my conscience replied
" Quality of the subject, depends on person who teaches you and how..!!"
Yeah..!! any theory or knowledge can always be illustrated in a better way than its existing best way. So invention is just a start despite it's vitality, it is just an inception. For its further excellence someone has to propagate it, present its attributes, publish its phenomenons, Personify its essence. Which takes place in a very thin medium between invention and you being able to discover that invention, and I name that medium as a NEEDLE, Which is thin but sharp, above all its essential to combine the threads called
invention & discovery.
In course of retrospection I discovered that i was pierced by quite a few number of needles in my life.
1. Dad :
That's how I call him, It was year 2000 in which 199 min movie created deep cerebral impact on me, I was just 6th class, a respectably average student with notably cute appearance and who listens to his parents
(nothing wrong in it).
Speaking about my Dad, he educated and still educating me in fields with blatant diversity, in that style on a summer night of 2000 he took the family to a movie. I was obliged to realize the fact that a night, out of 25000 nights(hopefully you would live) could create an impact on the rest of all nights you spend in your life. My Dad created that night for me and I would say "my Dad is a genius", provided a modest way to say about him
[Detailed explanation in coming post : I am just a sperm of my father]
After all this, I know what you are waiting for..!
Yah the Movie's name right.??
Its "Hey Ram", written, & Directed by kamal Haasan who also played the role of archeologist who eventually gets influenced by various forces, and tries to kill Gandhi.
To experience the extra ordinary take on most controversial historic incident.. watch the movie...!
Of course I totally admire Kamal and his sheer brilliance, but who gave me that oppurtunity.? Its my Dad who not only created an situation of 'me watching that me' but also discussed about it radiating his deep insights and amazing interpretations of facts.
[ More needles coming soon ....]
Saturday, November 14, 2009
In Search of a Search : a Poem
I forced myself to do this... Cant help it..! yeah i cant help me being here just about to fill this post with a poem.
My poem is :
In search of a search
I would never fetch,
I am in well of hell
dwelling like a shell ,
I am a Knight
but not tonight,
I am in a journey
alone without any,
In search of a search
I wasn't here
thats why i am here,
Me and my horse
are now about to remorse,
In search of a search
Today I am here living
tomorrow I may be leaving
where am I heading,
In search of a search
Its now in the morning
My back is already burning
so, its towards west I am running,
In search of a search
The road is long
Its million times a furlong,
I only wasn't wrong
I also am wrong
there is no one with me to come along,
In search of a search,
A never ending Research
P.S : A poem alone doesnt sound good for me to complete a post..! so just enjoy the poster
My poem is :
In search of a search
I would never fetch,
I am in well of hell
dwelling like a shell ,
I am a Knight
but not tonight,
I am in a journey
alone without any,
In search of a search
I wasn't here
thats why i am here,
Me and my horse
are now about to remorse,
In search of a search
Today I am here living
tomorrow I may be leaving
where am I heading,
In search of a search
Its now in the morning
My back is already burning
so, its towards west I am running,
In search of a search
The road is long
Its million times a furlong,
I only wasn't wrong
I also am wrong
there is no one with me to come along,
In search of a search,
A never ending Research
P.S : A poem alone doesnt sound good for me to complete a post..! so just enjoy the poster
Monday, November 9, 2009
Fail to Fail
Student : Shit...! I flunked my exam :((..! I wont get job..! I m a looser i wont be helpful to my Parents...!
I am a "FAILURE....!"
-The end-
If you are the above character or belong to those types.. may be not exaclty..! But If you had ever felt sorry about losing just one thing in your life and named it a "FAILURE" then this is for you ramblers..!
Let me tell you What is a Failure....!!
-> Just like every 3 kilos flesh with grams of Not-Yet-Started-Working Brain you were pulled out of something, into this world....! Its the first "stepping stone of your success.." I mean its your first Failure...! Yah getting into or entering something without your knowledge & will or interest is utterly a Failure.
-> Seeing things for 3 years as a child and not remembering a bit of them is a failure.
wait a minute....! may be not so big failure... If no hot girl/boy had kissed you..!! wen u were child.
-> In your 5th class (speaking in terms of before 2000 situation) If you dint had a crush or any knowledge about love.. sorry friend you were a Failure.
-> You have repeated any class of your school..?? being left behind by all your friends and network...? you did it again "Failure"
->Okay the real failure comes now i.e after your 10th class.. I m sure 99% were failures in this..! "You studied Bi.P.C or M.P.C just because your parents wanted to..! dint you...??" You people know this better as u did intermediate in those Narachaitanyas...!
->Okay i will excuse you for all the above failures if u haven't joined Engineering...!But you must have sure did...!
*i m using bold letters only for word Failure *
Skipping the Best or real engineering part
Reference :http://midsmind.blogspot.com/2009/10/real-engineering.html
=>Here comes Real Failures you should really regret about..!
->Your age is 22 and you are still Virgin..!!? My dear friend this is the biggest failure any human can ever be...! trust me you cant have a worse failure than this..! reading this, you still may not give a big thought about it..! but if u think u r different n if u love to act different too..! then you must not have Failed in this. Sorry if u r one...! n if u r jealous of me...!!
->At the age of 25.. you want to go for a movie in Imax and if you aren't going by CAR.. yeah the "F" word again Failure.
->By 27 you married..!? Ok then asshole you are a Fucking Fairly a Failure
->Age 30..? Still with the same person whom you married..!?
Ha ha you always failing Moron, enjoy the Failure.
->30-40...? Earning money but in the job u dont like...!? I really got a word for you..! the same old word... Failure.
-> You just celebrated your 40th birthday..? And you are still in hunt of money with all those business or job tensions.....!!??
Was it already 3 days you slept with a hot chick..?
Was it already 2 days since you had a party..?
Was it already 24 hours you watched a nice movie..?
Was it already 12 hrs you had beer..!?
Was it already 6 hours you had yummy food..?
Was it already 3 hours you smoked a cigarette ...!??
Why do you live
Mr/Ms.
Soon-to-be-living-your-short-ass-life-in-agonizing-pain.??
You are a Failure.. and I can give a warranty for next 20 years on a product like you... which will be the same, always failing shit..!
So Just Fail to Fail My dear..!!
P.S:
I just failed in writing this post in the way i wanted it to be. ;)
I am a "FAILURE....!"
-The end-
If you are the above character or belong to those types.. may be not exaclty..! But If you had ever felt sorry about losing just one thing in your life and named it a "FAILURE" then this is for you ramblers..!
Let me tell you What is a Failure....!!
-> Just like every 3 kilos flesh with grams of Not-Yet-Started-Working Brain you were pulled out of something, into this world....! Its the first "stepping stone of your success.." I mean its your first Failure...! Yah getting into or entering something without your knowledge & will or interest is utterly a Failure.
-> Seeing things for 3 years as a child and not remembering a bit of them is a failure.
wait a minute....! may be not so big failure... If no hot girl/boy had kissed you..!! wen u were child.
-> In your 5th class (speaking in terms of before 2000 situation) If you dint had a crush or any knowledge about love.. sorry friend you were a Failure.
-> You have repeated any class of your school..?? being left behind by all your friends and network...? you did it again "Failure"
->Okay the real failure comes now i.e after your 10th class.. I m sure 99% were failures in this..! "You studied Bi.P.C or M.P.C just because your parents wanted to..! dint you...??" You people know this better as u did intermediate in those Narachaitanyas...!
->Okay i will excuse you for all the above failures if u haven't joined Engineering...!But you must have sure did...!
*i m using bold letters only for word Failure *
Skipping the Best or real engineering part
Reference :http://midsmind.blogspot.com/2009/10/real-engineering.html
=>Here comes Real Failures you should really regret about..!
->Your age is 22 and you are still Virgin..!!? My dear friend this is the biggest failure any human can ever be...! trust me you cant have a worse failure than this..! reading this, you still may not give a big thought about it..! but if u think u r different n if u love to act different too..! then you must not have Failed in this. Sorry if u r one...! n if u r jealous of me...!!
->At the age of 25.. you want to go for a movie in Imax and if you aren't going by CAR.. yeah the "F" word again Failure.
->By 27 you married..!? Ok then asshole you are a Fucking Fairly a Failure
->Age 30..? Still with the same person whom you married..!?
Ha ha you always failing Moron, enjoy the Failure.
->30-40...? Earning money but in the job u dont like...!? I really got a word for you..! the same old word... Failure.
-> You just celebrated your 40th birthday..? And you are still in hunt of money with all those business or job tensions.....!!??
Was it already 3 days you slept with a hot chick..?
Was it already 2 days since you had a party..?
Was it already 24 hours you watched a nice movie..?
Was it already 12 hrs you had beer..!?
Was it already 6 hours you had yummy food..?
Was it already 3 hours you smoked a cigarette ...!??
Why do you live
Mr/Ms.
Soon-to-be-living-your-short-ass-life-in-agonizing-pain.??
You are a Failure.. and I can give a warranty for next 20 years on a product like you... which will be the same, always failing shit..!
So Just Fail to Fail My dear..!!
P.S:
I just failed in writing this post in the way i wanted it to be. ;)
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